Dear Eric: My husband is 72 years old and I am 68 years old. He is still working, and I am retired and part -time work. We have married the leg for six years.
We maintain our separate finances and both contribute to basic expenses. It has much more in assets than me.
When we got married, I signed a Prenuupc that he designed, saying that he would make confidence and, after his death, he would give me rights for life to the house in which we live; I would not receive anything else. Until now, he has not established the trust or written a will.
It seems increasingly resentful of this. I could survive if I died, but I would have to move to a more affordable situation.
Should I promote this problem to be able to make plans for my old age while I am still healthy or wait? Otherwise we get along. Am I wrong in waiting for him to trust confidence to take care of me or leave me some assets?
I wonder if a Prenu -up applies if the height lasts until death. I know that times have changed and roles expectations also seem to have.
– Previous problem
Dear Prenup: It would be wise on your part to review the Prenuupc with a lawyer as soon as possible so that you can have a better idea of what you signed, what are the bondigations of her husband and what resource she has.
It seems that the Prenuups works along with a more complex patrimonial planning that her husband has not done. Or, at least, it has not been updated.
It would be useful to know if he has a will that is prior to his Mariard and leaves the house to another person, for example. Obtain as much information as I can about your joint financial situation and talk about it with a lawyer is not greedy; They are the responsibility.
The consultation you have with a lawyer can provide some options on how you can and should process. Having an action plan can get the bite of your resentment, making space for a clear eyes conversation with your husband.
Dear Eric: He was a lawyer when I started having memory problems at age 65. I retired and subfire that I had a strange devastating dementia with a very short useful life.
Instead of supporting me, my friends disappeared from my life, at that time I needed them.
Friends can gather around them have cancer, which leads to chemotherapy treatments, left food and other things to support him; When you have dementia, everyone disappears.
I’ve always been a sociable person and I’m missing a lot, but I have no idea how or where to start. Any idea?
– LEAVED BY FRIENDS
Dear friends: People sometimes do not know what to do or say when they face a disease, but that is not an excuse for the behavior of their friends and sorry.
The Alzheimer’s Association (Alz.org) has a lot of resources for people with dementia, including support groups, both online and person. Being able to talk to others about what you are experiencing and feeling will help with isolation.
This could also be a time to explore new volunteer opportunities or social groups that have nothing to do with dementia, depending on their care plan and skills. You are a person who is worthy of connection, with a lot of experiences and knowledge of what others can benefit. Your company would be welcome in a senior center, a local output group or an organization that aligns with its interests and values.
If you have anxiety to navigate the thesis with dementia or need accommodation to feel safe, do not hesitate to communicate in advance and talk to a group leader about how you can participate more comfortable.
Dear Eric: My husband or 50 years died suddenly last year. We just moved to a retirement community. It still hurts deeply, but not all the time.
My neighbor faces a similar situation. I am starting to feel an attraction. We have a defined link and we get along very well.
Should I feel guilty for these sensations? I don’t know if it’s too soon or if they were to be. At least it gives me something to expect.
– Confused
Dear confused: Feel your feelings without judgment, but proceed with caution.
This could be the beginning of something very special, but you will want to ensure open and moving communication at a pace that prioritizes where each of you is emotionally. Above all, I encourage you not to hurry you. You know your neighbor, but you are also knowing a new part of yourself.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingeric.com or Po Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register in your weekly bulletin at Reichomas.com.
