“Be sure to listen to what they need and adapt the PEP talk with the specific anxiety they have,” says Linden.
Let’s say he feels shy to say his votes in front of everyone. So you could say: Hey, I have read your votes, and they are so beautiful. The boyfriend will love them, and I know they will also move the crowd to all. Do you want to practice them once again before walking down the hall?
Do not save your PEP talks for big things.
People often have more support and encouragement for the greatest challenges of life, such as running a marathon or starting therapy, than for the narrowest, says Skaggs.
So I know a cheerleader of your loved ones in those everyday moments, she says. If your friend mentions that they are giving a presentation at work next week and feel excited but also a little anxious, send them a moral impulse texture that week.
You could write: You will be excellent in your presentation. You are a great public speaker, and you have been taking it out in your work with milk. Sending good vibrations in your own way!
Little conversations as thesis show that you care, and can be as significant as giving a PEP about a broader problem, says Skaggs.
A talk does not have to include tips.
Let’s say your friend calls and tells you that your partner has just broken with them. They are crying and very annoying. What should you say?
Evaluate the situation. If it is clear that they do not look for solutions, their PEP talk could take the form of “breath and testify to the challenges that are happening,” says Linden. You could try Be an active listener And doing something ground connection exercises Together.
Do not feel the need to say “something revolutionary of what the person has never heard before,” says Skaggs. Sometimes, it can simply be comforting “remind you of what you already know is true.”
You could say: I know that what you are happening is really difficult and it hurts a lot at this time, but I am here for you.
Keep it simple.
“A PEP talk does not have to be something formal in which you spend a lot of time and think about,” says Skaggs.
It’s perfectly good to write the words, “Don’t give up!” In a sticky note and pégalo on the desktop of a colleague who tries to finish a great project. Or send a text message saying: “You are doing very well!” To a friend friend who is simply born.
And when it comes to giving Yourself A talk, remember that “you don’t have to nail it immediately,” says Skaggs. “Give yourself the same amount of grace, breath and forgiveness.”
This story was edited by Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We would love to know about you. Leave us a voicemail to 202-216-9823, or send us an email to lifekit@npr.org.
Listen to the life kit in Apple podcasts and Spotifyand register for our Information sheet. Follow us on Instagram: @nprlifekit.
