No matter how much we love them, holidays have a way of wearing us down. Between school events, family expectations, gift lists, trips, and With the mental burden of making the season “magical,” it’s no wonder many of us barely cross the finish line. And although the pressure to say yes is very real, This is your reminder to set boundaries during the holidays. In fact, this is the antidote to both burnout and that familiar December spiral where you’re left with cortisol and leftover sugar cookies. Next, we’ll discuss how to say no (without guilt) and conserve emotional energy. Cheers to truly enjoying the season you work so hard to create.
Why Vacation Boundaries Are Important
This time of year magnifies the invisible work we do. We are coordinating trips. We’re buying stocking stuffers. We are receiving gifts from teachers. We are planning menus. Etc. Etc. Etc. Meanwhile, we are setting the emotional tone for everyone around us. Is a lot. And when we don’t hold firm to our boundaries, it’s easy to fall into:
- Commit too much to events
- please people to avoid disappointing family and friends
- Comparison trapswhere we feel obligated to match what others do
- Self-neglectbecause we have put everyone’s needs before our own
Boundaries protect your emotional bandwidth. They are a way to honor what you can do while gracefully releasing what you can’t.
And when you honor your boundaries, you create space for presence, joy, and meaningful moments (not just the mental load behind them).
Common Guilt Traps to Avoid
Inevitably, even the most self-conscious moms feel swept up in holiday guilt. But naming these traps is the first step to escaping them. Before diving into the strategies, it’s helpful to recognize the internal scripts that make saying no seem impossible. Once you can spot them, it will be much easier to let go and choose what really matters.
1. “But my children will miss it…”
Truth: Children don’t remember perfectly selected moments. They remember the connection. Rested, down-to-earth parents create a vacation that’s calmer than any activity-packed schedule.
2. “I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”
Trying to protect the feelings of others often comes at the cost of your own well-being. Boundaries are not about rejecting others. It’s about respecting yourself.
3. “I should be able to do everything.”
This is the hallmark of burnout culture. If saying yes costs you sleep, sanity, or emotional energy, it’s not worth the internal consequences. Ever.
4. “It’s only once a year.”
AND that is exactly why it is important to conserve energy. You deserve to experience the season (not just survive it).
The power to protect your energy
Speaking of emotional energy, think of it as a finite resource. To put it in context, I am a mother of two young children, a nutrition coach, and a textbook Enneagram 2 (someone who instinctively anticipates and meets the needs of others before my own). And while that sensitivity is a strength, it also means I’m prone to overexerting myself… especially during the holidays. But the harder I tried, the more exhausted I felt.
Finally, thanks to my curious husband (an Enneagram 5!), I realized that protecting my energy is not selfish. It’s a way of showing myself as the calm and present mother that I want my children to remember. Holiday limits do not detract from the season; They create space for the moments that matter most.
How to preserve your sanity
As you begin to honor your energy, the next step is to discover how to approach the season with more intention. With that in mind, here are some mom-friendly tools that don’t require perfection or extra time. The simpler they are, the more likely you are to use them. These realistic, grounded practices can help you preserve your sanity, preserve your emotional bandwidth, and get through the season more easily:
- Create a “Christmas vision” for your family. To do? you Why do you feel like this season? Cozy? Simple? Slow? Cheerful? Let this guide you every yes and no.
- Limit consecutive events. Reserve blank afternoons on your calendar. You and your children need downtime between commitments.
- Identify your non-negotiables. Maybe it’s a baking day, movie night, or attending a single annual event. Lock down what matters and release the rest.
- Protect your mornings. A leisurely morning (with coffee drunk hot) can offset even the busiest days.
- Build in buffer time. Say no to anything that squeezes your schedule to the point of stress. Spaciousness is your secret vacation superpower.
What to say when you need to say no
If saying no triggers guilt (this is for all my fellow people pleasers!), use these gentle, respectful scripts that honor both you and the other person.
- “This year we’ll keep our schedule slow, so we won’t make it, but thanks for the invite.”
- “That sounds lovely, but we have to move on. We need some family downtime.”
- “I wish we could, but we are at the limit of our capacity!”
- “I can’t commit to that, but I hope it will be a wonderful meeting.”
- “Thanks for thinking of us! This season feels full, so we’ll stay close to home.”
Remember: Vacation limits do not require an apology or explanation.
Practical self-care for a peaceful season
During the holidays, the key is to create moments of well-being in chaos, without waiting for it to calm down. A protein-rich breakfast, a quiet cup of tea, or 10 minutes of stretching can anchor your entire day. Let go of perfection, okay? Your home doesn’t need to be overflowing with decor (a little garland goes a long way!), and your cookies don’t need to be Pinterest-worthy. And don’t be afraid to ask for and accept help with wrapping, cooking, or babysitting! The most important thing is that you don’t forget to pause, take a step back and immerse yourself in the magic.
Edie Horstman
Edie is the founder of nutritional coaching company Wellness with Edie. With her expertise and experience, she specializes in women’s health, including fertility, hormonal balance, and postpartum wellness.
