Dear Harriette: I just received a reality check from my girlfriend. She is me.
In our last argument, she told me that I do not know how to love and that I Alejo all who try to do the right thing. I think I could have crossed a line this time.
We have had fights before, but usual and end up in us taking space or accepting to disagree. This time I called her dumb. I was angry and the words simply came out, but I think that was the drop that filled the glass.
She told me that it was stubborn before, but I didn’t realize how bad I have been in arguments until she decided to leave me.
I love her, and I don’t think it’s silly; I just thought about something that was silly. I didn’t want to be so offensive.
How do I recover it?
– Verification of reality
Dear reality check: You must deal with your anger and communication skills. Before trying to convince your ex to return to you, turn to work in yourself.
Find a therapist who can help him immerse himself deeply in his own behavior so that he can understand his motivations and accept how he communicates with the ethers.
Excuse me with your ex. Let him know that he regrets the way you spoke to him and that you are seeing a therapist to help solve things. Not the pressures. You have to work in yourself now.
Dear Harriette: I broke with my recent boyfriend. Just although I know it was the right decision, I am still classifying many feelings.
The relationship was terrible, but he had followed the course; In the background I knew we were no longer happy together.
Now, just a few weeks later, one of my close friends is encouraging me to go to an appointment with one of her boyfriend’s friends. She swears is a great guy and says she has asked for me before. I have seen photos, and I admit that it is nice and it seems that it has a good atmosphere.
Part of me is flattered and curious, but I also doubt. I am not sure if I am ready to jump to something new yet, even if it is just an informal appointment.
I keep wondering if I should take advantage of this as an opportunity to move forward, meet someone new and have fun. Another part of me is still to process my break and my type of craving space to be alone for a while. I do not want to take anyone, but I do not do it either because to lose something potentially great just because I am afraid or insecure.
Is it okay to say no to something that seems good on paper if I don’t feel full?
– Time alone
Dear time to alone: You do not have to marry the next guy, even if you agree to go to an appointment with him, or maybe just make your friend organize that they are both of each other in an informal meeting.
Of course, the time to evaluate your life must be taken and decide what you want next, but getting in a position to have a good time in the company of another person could be refreshing. It does not mean that you have to do nothing more to leave that time. I say that he sees for it.
To answer your question, there is nothing wrong with saying no if you are not ready.
Harriette Cole is one of life and founder of Dreamlepers, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harrietcole.com oc/or Andrews McMeel Syndionction, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
