Dear Abby: My friend “Julie” has faced challenges in recent months. She lost her job and her long -term boyfriend ended her relationship.
His situation is complicated by the fact that the ex has a dog that Julie has known, since he was a puppy. Despite the emotional and mental abuse that has inflicted her, she is willing to visit him to see the dog.
My husband and I, together with the new family, have expressed our concerns that he is manipulating Julie to the liver his affection for the dog. I advised him to separate and continue, because I think this agreement prevents him from moving forward.
Recently, Julie shared that his ex plans to relocate and take the dog with him, which has joined his anguish. She is crying on this situation, and I am lost by how to support her.
Do you have any suggestions?
– Frustrated friend in California
Dear Friend: Julie is still mourning for the loss of her abusive relationship with her boyfriend. As you said, visits with the dog (and he) have only prolonged his complaint.
Continue emotionally supporting your friend while you have your leg and jump conferences on what a manipulative body is. She already knows. Then pray to move away, so that the draw can finally be cut, and she can start healing.
Dear Abby: I am just over 40 years old and I have been working hard since my 20 years.
I have a beautiful house that my wife and I are trying to pay and two children. We live quite comfortably, but from no means we are fine.
My dad is very good, and he finances my older brother to live abroad. My younger sister, who still lives at home with him, is given the money he needs or wants.
I am becoming more and more resentful of this situation. My two brothers, Neith or who works, they are receiving Dad free trips.
My father loves reminding me how much money he has and how successful it is. So why doesn’t it help me to pay my mortgage so that my family and I can live a more comfortable life? This is the question that seems to me, but I am not sure to ask my dad or not.
Do you have any advice on the address that I must take and what I can do so that I don’t feel so much resentment?
– One of the three in Canada
Darling: Maybe it’s time to step back and see this situation from a different perspective.
It seems that you think your father is doing your sister and the brother subsidizing her lifestyles. From where I feel, it seems that he has spent years promoting his dependence on his instead of helping them become independent adults. Has it never occurred to you that of the three brothers, are you the only one who is completely functional?
Your father may have the impression that you can comfortably pay your mortar yourself. Stop fleeing and have an honest talk with him.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by his mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
