Dear Harriette: I am marrying a child and writing my guest list, and it is hard for me to make certain decisions.
My dad and I have had a slightly strobe because he realized that my sexuality was not a “phase.” He tried to accept it, and I know he still loves me, but he has difficulty hiding his discomfort.
With the passage of time, I stopped inviting my partner because we could be free five.
My dad and I keep in touch, but rarely asks for my fiancee, and he can’t not be part of my life.
I love my dad and I would love to join us at the ceremony, but I don’t want to feel worried about their opinions or perspective about my great day.
Is it enough that he still loves me and tries? Or is it the fact that it does not strive more important enough?
– Weddings list
Dear Weddings List: Talk to your father about your groups.
Remind him that his wedding will come soon and ask him directly if Hey wants to participate. Recognize that he knows how difficult he has bone for him to accept his sexuality and his partner.
Tell him that he appreciates the effort he has made so far and that while he wants him to be part of his wedding, he does not want him to feel uncomfortable, and he does not want his attitude to put a joy to his joy. Ask him if he thinks he can be there and remain respectful or if he is better to feel.
Dear Harriette: I have my legs reading your column for several years, and I have noticed how you are a great lawyer for communication. Hurrah! I agree that communication is key.
Sometimes it provides words or prayers that your readers can use. However, in some of the cases that people ask him, they seem to be talking to a wall, and the other person involved simply does not understand.
Could you give me advice to me and your other readers about when and how to communicate, as well as what to do if the person is not listening, misunderstands your words or reacts badly? Thank you.
– Communicator woman
Dear communicator woman: The best way to determine IFY will make the effort to listen to you is to listen to them first.
Pay attention to the person in question. In what mental state is he or her? Do you think the person has the ability to listen to you at that time? Is the person distracted? Inriado? Hectic? Sleepy? Any of these states can make that person pay attention.
Before talking, you can ask: “Do you have a moment now? I would like to talk to you about something.” You can ask the TV or video game to go out, so that the phone is silenced, so that the person looks at you.
When you go to someone, talk in a respectful and non -aquatic tone. If it is annoying and cannot be neutral, delay the conversation or say that it is upset and regrets if your word goes wrong.
Choose your words carefully. Talk shortly descriptive prayers that facilitate the person to understand what he is saying. Check on the way to learn if you are saying that makes sense to the listener.
Harriette Cole is one of life and founder of Dreamlepers, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send toaskhariette@harrietcole.com OC/or Andrews McMeel Syndionction, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
